Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Refuse to Live a Life of Fear

I remember a few weeks ago my neighbor moved out and renters moved in. I remember peeking out through my bedroom window sizing up the new neighbors, thinking, “He looks a bit shady, I think it’s time to move.” Fear began to have its way and I actually began to look on the internet for more ‘suitable’ places to live.  After the second or third day of peering through the curtains, a thought came to me, “Who ARE you?”  I was ashamed and embarrassed that I had passed judgment on someone solely based upon their appearance. Since then,  have met my new neighbors and have begun to build a relationship with them. God’s whispered to me, “refuse to live a life of fear.

Two weeks ago, I slammed my baby-toe into our ottoman, as I am sure many of us have, and truly believed it was broken. Up until yesterday morning, I held onto that thought. Another thought came to me yesterday, “you have to try to walk on it.”  So I did. It hurt, but not enough to stop me.  Then another thought came to me, “try to run on it.” You see, I am a runner, and one injury after another has stopped me from doing just that. So, I tried to run on it, not too bad, not any worse anyway. (that’s my test…if it doesn’t hurt WORSE, it’s probably okay).  So I went home, put on my running clothes, and ran, for 22 minutes. It didn’t hurt any worse, and by that time, I had gained a little confidence!  It made all of the difference in my attitude.  I came home, feeling excellent, and even painted my toes. If you are a girl, you know that that means you are feeling pretty darn good.  I was afraid to walk, none-the-less, run, but I did it anyways.  God’s whispered to me, “refuse to live a life of fear.

Yesterday I turned on the news to the horrific story of the Boston Marathon attack.  Everything  natural in me said to be afraid, to not go to social events, to not run the Chicago Marathon. Everything that is God’s in me says to not be afraid, to not live in fear. Fear can be a cancer, invading every space in our lives.  God’s whispered to me, “refuse to live a life of fear.
Today, I woke up to a great-feeling toe. The running must have released it, because I was able to walk for a half an hour pain-free. Perhaps it was jammed and I was afraid it was broken? I don’t know, I just know that I faced my fear and did it anyways.  I have always wondered if I could ever buckle down and qualify for the Boston Marathon.  I don’t know about all that, but I will never know if I run afraid. I do know this, now I want it more than ever.  God’s whispers to me, “refuse to live a life of fear. 

Cheryl D. Wyatt