As I sit in my living room, the front door is open and a cool breeze is making its way in. I have turned off all other distractions, so that I can hear the birds outside. Even my dogs are asleep, everyone is asleep, except for the birds and I.
I woke up this morning in a way that I have done for many days now. Eye one, then eye two, a stretch, and the thought, "another cloudy day" hits my mind, and perhaps my tongue, under my breath. I'm sick of the clouds. I'm sick of the rain. I'm sick of my stinky attitude about my life and the stupid clouds. I'm tired of not being inspired.
There I said it. I'm tired of not being inspired. I have waves of inspiration and grandiose-God moments, but they are nestled between the “should” and “shouldn'ts” of my days. I want continuity and consistency. I want to feel healthy and joyous and content for a larger portion of my days, weeks, and years.
I'm wondering if you can relate or if it's just me. I feel like I pump myself up, and by the end of the day, and before I turn in to bed, I am there. Then, I wake up in the morning, and it's all gone. I have to start all over.
Even as I write this, the Holy Spirit reminds me that God is my missing link to consistency. He is the only thing that remains the same. He is the glue that holds together my moments and my days, He connects the past to the future, yesterday to today. I am living a life mostly made up of my own efforts and strengths, and the older I get, the harder it gets, ‘cause let’s face it, getting older is hard work. I am tired, crabby, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled when left to my own devices.
I cannot live a holy life without a constant walk with Him. How can I expect anything to stick with interaction of the loving God who created me in His image?
“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. 13 May He strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his Holy Ones.” (1 Thess 2: verse 12 and 13)
When we come to each other after having spent time with Him, we are better for it. It’s not just about us and our days, and muddling through them. It’s about coming to Him incomplete, and learning to be more complete, in Him. Then, when we are together in community, be that a large group or a small one of just you and another, we can commune with God and each other on a more intimate, personal level.
Just as I am ready to hit SAVE on this reflection, I am looking out the window to sunshine on my lawn. If only for a moment, Father has reminded me that the way things are is not always the way things will be. Enjoy this day!Have a most amazing, cloudy, God-filled day.